I love list making almost as much as I love my mama so the following are the top 10 reasons I love my mom. Side note: I’m going to refer to her as Nae. I’m not one of those weird asses who calls my parents by their first name but for this article’s sake it will keep things spicy which is sooooo my mom’s taste.
- This article was written in collaboration with my younger sister KK. She added some funny notations (can’t even lie.)
10. Nae Stays salty. She is prepared for any altercation. Sometimes this makes us nervous (especailly when Nae is behind the wheel) — but more than not it makes us appreciative. Growing up we have never doubted that Nae had our back. If we need someone to send a "scathing email" (which mom has sent a few of in her day) — Nae never disappoints.
9. When I need to be a little bitch - Nae lets me get it out of my system. Just the other night Mom wanted to watch another episode of True Detective and I couldn’t because I needed to get an early start in the morning. WE NEVER GO ON IN THE SEASON WITHOUT EACH OTHER. I suggested that she go ahead and watch a new episode and then she took me up on my offer. Then I tried to act all offended, like watching an episode without me was a CRIME (pun intended). I pouted, huffed, and puffed a bit. Nae stayed calm and watched the show and probably laughed about it while my pansy ass went to bed. The next morning she was gone longer than she should have been which prompted me to double text her “WHERE R U?” Turns out she went and bought me a rose. A ROSE!! How sweet is that? Who needs a boyfriend when your mom brings you flowers to calm your sass??
8. As mentioned before, Nae binge watches Netflix with us. Now that HBO has stepped its game up and also has a streaming service we binge watch HBO shows. We become obsessed and are known to finish an entire series within a week. My mama is MUH GIRL for this. Gossip Girl, Sons of Anarchy, Breaking Bad, Prison Break, House of Cards, Orange Is The New Black, Game of Thrones, and The Falling have been on our line up. We have good taste, I know.
7. Mom talked to us like adults when we were children. For example, most children have kidesque names for their private parts. Nae went straight up med school on us and my sister and I walked around saying vagina. We were the most anatomically correct kids on the block.
Just today I was telling a story about Florida Georgia Line playing at a local venue and demanding their venue contact to get them some coke stat. My little brother asks if I’m talking about the drink and I say yes, attempting to keep his virgin ears clean. Nae tells him the truth — they wanted drugs. Nae keeps it real.
6. Knock, Knock - who’s there? NAE laughing at her own jokes. Her material is always golden and she's not mad at taking part in enjoying her wit. We have Nae to thank for our impeccable sense of humor — she has raised us well people.
5. Notorious for her rendition of the stankyyyy leg, Nae will never say no to hitting the dance floor. She will break out da moves on yo azz. Watch out Omarion, if Nae is out and about you will get served. Watch out Ne-Yo, Nae is gonna stomp yo yard.
4. Nae is our YES MAN. Wanna start a blog — Nae approves! Wanna start your own businesses — Nae supports. Wanna intern for an NFL team — NAE says you go girl. Wanna own a pet tiger — Nae draws the line at this, but she will buy you a stuffed one to snuggle with.
3. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T do you know what that means? Nae said get your own house. Nae said get yo own car. Nae said two jobs, work hard, you a bad broad. Nae has raised us to be ambitious young women who refuse to settle. She has instilled in us the idea that no dream is too big. We can achieve what we want on our own — we don’t need men to take care of us. (She might have sprinkled on a little too much independence because she also jokes she will have to knit sweaters for kittens instead of grandchildren due to our picky nature in the male department.)
2. Nae is hands down our best friend. We tell her everything. She listens to us — and then listens to us some more even when she has heard the same comments or bitching rants a million times. Most importantly she knows how to separate being a friend and a mom. Being a mom will always come first in her book and she makes sure we know that. We are so lucky to have been raised by this woman.
1. Top reason we love Nae is because she is one of a kind. She is spicy, funny, sweet, understanding and would do anything for us. She has supported us through sporting events, band events (lol), sorority events, and whatever else you can name she has been there in the front row yelling loud. We wouldn’t be who we are today without her and we are SO thankful we can call Nae — Mom. HMD NAE. You da real MVP.
To our lovers and our haters,
Laters,
K
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